I
have been planning to write this for a long time now. What better time to write
than after a tedious 22 km drive back home in rain. Now that I am all comfortable and have
snuggled in my blanket with hot maggie to eat on my side, I have opened my laptop
to pen my observations.
There
are so many different people you encounter on the road when you are frequent
rider. Here I have tried to narrow down people I usually encounter on the road,
into categories that largely define them. Below are certain “types” of people you
might encounter on the road. If I’ve missed out some types, please put them in
your comments.
·
The
Overtaking guy: This guy is very common and you can come across him very often.
I’m not sure if its gender specific, but this guy “has” to overtake you. There
he is happily going at his own pace without disturbing anyone. But the moment
you have overtaken him, he goes bizarre. An immense amount of energy enters him
as he switches into the next gear and overtakes you. He is delighted by his small
victory and drives off in his own joy without coming back to his original speed.
·
The
guy who “Spits”: Now I’m not sure if this is specific to Hyderabad but in
Hyderabad, you can see them very often. Like the name suggests, these guys spit..
yes.. they just spit. They can be driving a bike, car or an auto. If you are
driving behind them, you cannot predict when they decide to spit. So the moment
they do that, you have to calculate a complex mathematical formula to understand
the direction in which the spit is proceeding and with the help of your fined
reflexes, move in order to avoid it and simultaneously balance your vehicle. You
know just like how Shahrukh Khan in Main Hoon Na and Keanu Reeves in Matrix
escaping their respective targets. But don’t think that these spitter guys are
all idiots; some of them are very empathetic. They very cautiously bend down
from their respective vehicle and spit so that it falls on the ground. Some of
them are even talented to open the door of the running car, spit and immediately
close the door. But I think they usually forget the laws of physics and don’t understand
the importance of wind that can carry their saliva from one place to another. So
if you don’t want a abstract tattoo design (usually red) on you, beware of the “spit”
guys you drive next time on the road as these guys can be anywhere.
·
The
Stalker guy: These guys are usually on a two wheeler and are usually found in
certain areas. They play their own game of stalking like coming close to you
and then overtaking you. But unlike the overtaking guy, these guys slow down to
catch up with you. Some very artistic guys can also entertain you with a song
while stalking you. What amuses me is their patience and persistence. Even
though its 40 degrees hot or its raining cats and dogs, they are never disappointed.
While everyone around you are irritated with the traffic and are waiting to get
home as soon as possible including you, these guys have all the time in the
world to stalk you. There are many ways to get rid of them. But one of my very
proven way is to go up to them and ask, “Bhaiyya, kya problem hai?”. It works
best because the moment you ask them this question, they are taken off guard. They
have not anticipated this situation and are therefore not prepared. I also usually
ask them to stop at the next traffic signal and that we can have a conversation
if there is any problem. Nervous and afraid of the sudden turn of events, they
either increase their speed and rush or take an unwanted turn.
·
The
F1 Kids: Yes… Kids because these guys are not more than 18 years old. They usually
appear on a bike that looks like a cross between our simple Hero Honda and those
fancy race bikes. These kids loves stunts and are usually driving over 80
km/hr. I doubt if anyone of them have a driving license. What they don’t release
is with their inappropriate traffic sense and over the top horn sounds, they
create disturbance to everyone on the road. But I also empathize with these
kids because they in their adolescence think life is such a jolly ride. Tomorrow
when they have jobs, responsibilities and they have to drive their simple bike
through hectic traffic to get home, they will not get these carefree moments to
feel like the king of the world.
·
The
“Splash” guy: You get to see these guys only during monsoons. Like the name
indicates, these guys like to “splasshhh” water while driving. The entire road
is almost empty but instead of driving on that end, they choose to drive
through puddles of water. And by God’s grace, there is no shortage of water
puddles, either large or small on our roads. A prolonged drizzle can create a
mini swimming pool on the roads. Even though I don’t understand why guys in car
do this, what amuses me most is when guys on bikes do this. The sadistic itch
to drive through that dirty water which results in splashing everyone makes
them blind to the fact that even they are getting drenched. But they just
continue to do that.
